“Nothing else ever in your life will affect you like music did in your early teens, and it puts you on a certain course. It’s like a love affair. It widens your taste and it broadens your view on everything. It saves you.”—Morrissey (via loveyourchaos)
Pressing that little button might very well be the turning point of my life. I know I’m going to be criticized for my decision, but there’s no going back now. I’m tired of vacillating back and forth with this decision. I can already predict the weight of guilt and judgment that will be thrown upon me because of this one decision.
In the future will this be the moment that I look upon with satisfaction, or will I see this as the breaking point of everything, the decision that made everything fall apart.
That’s not a very positive way of seeing this, I mean, it’s supposed to be the best and most empowering decision of my life. However, I can’t help but feel selfish. Selfish for wanting to make that specific choice, despite certain protests and advice.
I want to make my own decisions, struggle through debt, make mistakes, and figure out life for myself. Advice is great and all…but when you were my age, would you have ignored your own mind in order to follow the guidelines of a “wiser” person? I mean, you gain wisdom through experience and making your own mistakes and I understand that you don’t want me to go through the same mistakes, but I’m a human being too. I’m stupid and I like learning from the countless times I’ve failed.
Amidst the seemingly endless overflow of shouts and protests and opinions and doubts from other people, these are just the ramblings of a girl trying to discern what’s right for her.